Are You Relationship Ready?

11/11/2016

Are You Relationship Ready? Two Things To Check Before You Accept That Date!

The greatest mistake anyone can make is to move straight from one relationship to another.

With all of the emotion that is swirling around after a relationship breakup, what is hard to consider at the time is that the situation presents us with a huge opportunity, an opportunity to assess what went wrong and the part that we played in it.

Perhaps not straight away, but once the initial raw feelings have settled down and things can be reflected upon more objectively; because even if you think the other person was totally to blame, there are still things that you can learn from the relationship which can help you to have a much better relationship with someone else in the future.

Before getting to this point of reflection, many people become tempted to relationship hop, to remove the pain and get away from the hurtful memories from the last relationship break up and perhaps ease those feelings of loneliness. But that doesn’t help in the long run.

Discover the secrets to creating and transforming intimate relationships with two of the UK’s Leading Relationship Experts… Reserve a seat at Mark and Nicky’s next The Great Relationships Workshop by clicking here.

The problem is that you are the common denominator in all of the relationships that you have ever had and that you will every have in the future. So if you don’t clean up your Sh*tuff that’s hanging around first, you will take it with you into the next relationship, which means it’s doomed to failure from the start.

The Success Mindset Quiz

If you want relationship success, then before you even consider getting into another relationship there are two things that are a must:

  • Stop holding onto what has gone on in the past
  • Sort out your own Sh*tuff

We take a very simplistic view in that you need to know who you are and what you want from being in a relationship first and foremost, because any fears, self-doubt or any other issues that you have will eventually play out and affect any future relationship.

The responsibility for being you lies completely with you and you cannot expect someone else to value you unless you value yourself first.

You need to be whole and comfortable with yourself. Looking for someone to complete you, to be your other half, is only asking for trouble and often shows out as just being needy.

Work on yourself and your own self-development so that you take the best possible version of you into the next relationship.

Leave the past in the past.

If you don’t resolve issues from your past they have a habit of following you around, and turning up when you least expect or want them to.

Developing ways of letting go of painful memories and blame so that you can learn from what happened and move on will make you stronger than ever before.

Too often, people hang onto the past and they then become experts in knowing what they don’t want in a relationship, holding onto all of their bad memories and bad experiences.

Discover the secrets to creating and transforming intimate relationships with two of the UK’s Leading Relationship Experts… Reserve a seat at Mark and Nicky’s next The Great Relationship Workshop by clicking here.

So what’s the problem with that?

Well have you noticed that people tend to get involved with the wrong ‘type’ over and over again? That’s because their focus is on the kind of person that they don’t want to be involved with and no one is more surprised than them that they end up being involved in the same patterns of behaviour with their new partner.

If you focus on the things that you don’t want, guess what you get? You attract those very things like a magnet.

A question that people often ask us is why is it we don’t list ‘trust’ as one of our seven principles for a successful relationships. This is because the need for trust in a relationship is down to an unpleasant past experience that someone has had. In fact the need for trust is really about mistrust and that’s not a great way to start a new relationship!

So before embarking into a new relationship take time to work on yourself and understand how you view the past so that when you do move into the next relationship, you’re ready to have the relationship that you want and not the relationship that you don’t want!

Discover the secrets to creating and transforming intimate relationships with two of the UK’s Leading Relationship Experts… Reserve a seat at Mark and Nicky’s next The Great Relationship Workshop by clicking here.