I think my mother was the best NLPer ever without knowing it. She said so …
In NLP we study beliefs like ‘Perception is Projection’ and ‘You cannot not communicate’.
The premise of these presuppositions is ‘what you hold inside, you will project outside’.
If you hold negative thoughts inside, those thoughts will project outside of you and will be the basis of the world that you create.
So just for a moment stop and ask yourself, Do you make or break people’s day?
Are you good to be around or good to avoid? What is it that you project outside?
A consistent piece of feedback that we receive from our trainings is how our energy and enthusiasm drives participants on to maximise their learnings and exceed the expectations that they have of themselves. They feel the energy that we create increases their own energy levels allowing them to remain focussed and engaged.
You may contrast this with those we all meet from time to time whose behaviour has exactly the opposite effect, giving us the feeling that energy is draining from us.
We call these people ‘energy vampires’. These are the people who have a permanent rain cloud over their head, the sun never shines in their lives, they never win a raffle and their toast always lands butter side down.
You all know someone like this.
Yes, we all have difficult times in our lives and it is then that we need support from those around us; a release of negative emotion in the right circumstances is understandable and can be beneficial.
It’s when the requirement for support is constant and static that the person becomes an energy vampire, draining away your life force and goodwill.
It is a good idea to take an inventory of your relationships and friendships on a regular basis, to see what’s working and what’s not.
It can seem quite clinical but just ask yourself, ‘What do I get from this relationship/friendship?
Likewise look at yourself and ask the question, ‘What benefit do people get from being in a relationship/friendship with me?
What you are looking for is a win – win situation.
Life happens in balance and there is only so much time and energy that you can use so you need to make sure that you are getting the best from it.
If you are devoting a great deal of time to people and situations that are not working for you, could it be time to make some changes?
If you want to create a positive projection to those around you, start by consciously thinking about the words that you use.
If someone asks you, ‘How are you?’ if you reply ‘Not bad’, what are you saying?
At an unconscious level we don’t process negatives so the other person has to think of ‘bad’ in order to understand what ‘not bad’ is.
If they ask you how your health is and you reply, ‘Well, I’ve not been ill for a while’, what will they pick up from that?
Or if they ask about your relationship and you reply, ‘I’m not divorced yet’, are you good to be around or good to avoid?
To project in a different way, we suggest that you hold positive pictures, sounds and feelings in your head and body.
Also make sure that your self-talk is positive.
If you generate these positive thoughts inside, you will be on an upward spiral which will change the way that you feel, change your physiology and ultimately change your behaviour.
Initially, this can be difficult for some people to do, so we tell them to just make it up and act in a positive way until it becomes real, there is a saying, ‘Fake it until you make it’.
This is true, as your unconscious mind does not know the difference between what we perceive to be real and what is made up.
Some people think that attending an NLP Practitioner course is not relevant unless you are going to use the principles and techniques to assist others with change.
As we tell people, the great thing about an NLP Practitioner training is that you get to create the change that you want in yourself first, learning to be an excellent communicator from the inside out!