Personality Quiz Discussion – Relationships

Taylored Relationships

Here are some of the ways the personality types can impact on Relationships:

Introvert/Extrovert

In a relationship do you argue over what to do in your leisure time? If an Introvert and Extrovert are in a relationship then there will potentially be problems when it comes to leisure time. The Introvert will love staying at home cuddled up on the sofa with a book or the TV, whilst the Extrovert will want to be out with friends socializing. The worst things that an Extrovert can ever do to an Introvert is invite people around to the house unexpectedly or turn up at an event with extra people that they don’t know.

The Extrovert may say to the Introvert, “Come on, let’s go out–you will enjoy it when you are there.” “You need to get out more!” “Why do you hate people so much?”

The Introvert may say to the Extrovert, “Am I not good enough to spend time alone with?” “Why do you always embarrass me when we go out?” “Why don’t you respect my privacy?”

The Introvert will also appear to be less spontaneous and will probably want to plan things in advance which may frustrate the Extrovert who will see the other as being boring and lacking flexibility. Likewise the Introvert may tire of the continual need for doing spontaneous and exciting things that the Extrovert craves.

The Extrovert may say to the Introvert’ “Why are you so boring?” “You will enjoy it if you give it a try” “Lighten up, why you are so serious all of the time”

The Introvert may say to the Extrovert, “Why do you never give me time to just sit quietly?” “Why are you always so over the top?” “Calm down” “You know I don’t like surprises”

When it comes to communication, the reflective Introvert may feel overpowered by the ‘think out loud’ Extrovert. The introvert will like quiet thinking time alone while the Extrovert hates silence and will want to bounce ideas off the other person.

The Extrovert may say the Introvert, “Why don’t you talk to me, why don’t you tell me what you are thinking?” “Are you ok?” “What’s wrong you’re not talking to me?” “Have I done something wrong?”

The Introvert may say to the Extrovert, “Why do you go on at me all of the time, why can’t you just sit down and be quiet”. “Why do you interrupt me when I am talking?” “You never give me time to think”

Sensor/Intuitor

When it comes to making decisions in a relationship the differences between Sensors and Intuitors can provide challenges.

With the Sensor preferring the here and now and the facts and the Intuitor preferring possibilities, ideas and what might happen: the Intuitor may say to the Sensor, “You’ve always got your head stuck in the clouds” and the Sensor may reply, “ Well at least I’m not like you just a die hard stick in the mud”.

If you ask a Sensor for some information they will tell you everything that they know in a very logical, systematic fashion whilst the Intuitor will probably just summarise for you, it may only go as far as a yes or no response.

The Intuitor may say to the Sensor, “ Just get to the point, give me the big picture.” Whilst in similar circumstances the Intuitor may say to the Sensor, “You never tell me what I need to know, it’s like getting blood out of a stone”.

Feeler/Thinker

Within relationships there is often perception that women are ‘Feelers’ whilst men are ‘Thinkers’ and this is not necessarily so, you need to assess each individual on their merits.

Feelers get very uncomfortable with conflict in a relationship especially if they are also Introverts and Intuitors. They will have a tendency not to say what they think and go with the flow. The Thinker will take what the Feeler says as being fact, especially if they are also a Sensor.

The next time a similar situation occurs the Feeler may say something totally different which may result in the accusation from the Thinker, “But last time you said…” or “Why are you always changing your mind?”

With the Thinker basing their actions on their objectivity the Sensor may accuse them of being cold and unfeeling whilst the Feeler may accuse the Feeler over being overly emotional, soft and over reacting to situations.

Judger/Perceiver

In a relationship these personality types come to the fore when the partners go shopping.

The Judger will either know exactly what they are going for or they will have a list, which they will tick off as they go to each shop. The Perceiver will probably go from shop to shop looking for the item they want trying to spot it as a bargain. They will worry about whether it is cheaper at another shop or whether there is a better version somewhere else.

You may hear the Judger say to the Perceiver, “Is it really necessary to go to every shop, you will only end up back at the first one’.

On the other hand the Judger may buy very quickly and can often end up having to return items. The Perceiver will smugly point out to them, “See I told you so, you need to take your time and consider all of the options. Now you are wasting time taking it back”.

The other main area affecting relationships for these personality types will be time keeping. The Judger will be punctual where as the Perceiver will usually be late. Both will agree a time to leave the house, with good intent, the Judger will be waiting by the door at the appointed time and the Perceiver may still be in the shower!

In our explanations we have just focused on two different personality types being shown in the same relationship, where you may wish to consider the scenario is for both partners being the same i.e. Introvert with Introvert or Extrovert with Extrovert which will bring its own benefits and challenges. We would love to be invited to the party the two Extroverts throw or how about the Introverts meditation weekend!

Whatever the mix of personality types your understanding of how each works and where you are on the continuum of each is the first step to building excellent relationships with others.

If you wish to find common ground with someone who has different personality types to you, the easiest way is to treat each experience with them as a one off rather than generalize. If someone tells you that they are Introvert it can be very easy to generalize and think that they will just sit in the corner and want to be left alone all of the time. What you need to do is talk to them and truly understand what their needs are personally in different situations.

The overall solution to potential problems with personality traits in relationships is the same as any issue that appears within relationships; your ability to communicate, understand and adapt.

With the information that you have from the four basic personality types you can see how they may assist you in having an excellent relationship.

Just think how it would be if you had a more in depth understanding of these and also knew the other 20 complex personality types that we teach.  For more information contact us today!